Let's be sirius here
by MisakiXRevive
Summary: James and Lily, a newly wed couple alone in Godric's Hollow, while baby Harry is sleeping peacefully. Sounds like a lemon? As if!


James sighed as he once again looked at the clock which didn't seem to move in his eyes. It had been a quite day. They hadn't heard anything new from Dumbledore or the Order which hopefully meant nothing bad had happened. He hated the silence. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Lily mixing some new potion. He turned around to observe her, her visage showing nothing except total concentration while a content smile graced her lips. It wasn't understandable for him, how something as boring as making potions could bring her pleasure but he didn't voice his thoughts. James had accepted that Lily had fun brewing disgusting smelling stuff. If it made her happy anything was fine, right?

She finally put the whisk away and thought out loud with a far away voice: ''Now I only have to wait for a few days and I can put in the Glosbskavanderdick''

A choking noise could be heard and Lily turned around only to see her husband choking on what seemed to be air. Repressing a sigh, she walked towards him and patted his back half- hearted.

''The-... WHAT are you going to put in?'', James looked at her flabbergasted and she couldn't help but remember the time he found out that she knew what had happened between him and Sirius.

Lily whacked him lightly on the head, not enough to actually hurt but so that he would get the message and hissed: ''Idiot, Harry is still asleep!''

They both glanced over to their baby and were relieved to discover that he was still asleep. It wasn't often they were able to relax. Harry was sleeping peacefully, his little nose a bit cringed, probably bothered by the smell.

James and Lily turned around and she gave him a long hard stare which promised pain should he prove himself to be loud again. James was slightly miffed since she hadn't been that quiet herself but had learned by now that disagreeing in such matters only resulted into fights.

''So... how is Remus?'' They both knew, she didn't only mean his well being.

He bit his lip and tried to hold back a mouth lashing. There was no way Remus would betray them. Sighing, he decided to answer the obvious question and to ignore the subtle one. ''He's fine... '', seeing her worried gaze, he added:'' You know how he is, still looking at guy's asses everywhere he is...'' James trailed off dramatically and saw that a smile graced her face, she probably knew what he was trying to do.

''That's were you are wrong'', a finger was held up patronizingly. ''Remus isn't gay, he's a pedophile.''

''He's not!'', James jumped in to his friends defense.

Lily rolled her eyes and ignored her fuming husband in favor of speaking:'' James, it's wonderful how much you love your friends especially Sirius-''

''Why do have to drag Sirius in-'', he was rudely interrupted.

''But let's be serious here-''

''Haha, Sirius isn't here!''

''-we both saw how he stared at Sabrina's ass. Who's a second year I might add''

James pouted and stared accusingly at his wife:''Just because he's interested in younger girls and boys than him, doesn't mean he will try anything...''

She sighed.''I never said that. And Remus isn't gay, James.''

''What?! Are you telling me I am?!''

''That had no connection, but yes.''

''Hah that's impossible! I made Harry after all!'', he looked pleased like he had just won the Quidditch Cup and Lily's eye twitched irritated.

''Yes, after _years_ you finally managed to get a boner -drunk I might add- and because your condom was overdue, because we never used it all these years, we got Harry.''

''That's a good thing isn't it?'', he was really put out and Lily felt a little bit bad.

She lifted his chin looked into his brown eyes and stated with full conviction: ''Of course it is.''

He smiled and she felt it was necessary to add: '' But I'm still sexually frustrated like hell and you didn't deny any of my accusations.''

''I am straight!''

''The dildo in our room says other wise.''

James face flushed red and Lily had to bit back the crazed laugh which was bubbling up her throat. ''H- How did you find it... I used a spell to keep the chest closed!''

''It wasn't difficult, you only needed a password after all. And using 'Magical staff of awesomeness' really wasn't the best idea you've ever had.''

''You have to admit it's funny.''

He looked into her gleeful face and remembered, he still had to deny the use of said magical staff.:''O- Of course I didn't use the staff! It's er...'' Sadly his lying skills had seemingly left him. ''For you? No! I mean it's for us. For you know... when we... do stuff. In the future.''

A raised eyebrow greeted him:''You are trying to tell me that you bought a sex toy -without us having ever had sex after that one time -for the future?''

''Yes.''

''It's used.''

''Oh shit! I forgot to clean it, didn't I! Fuck!'', he was panicking and beet red now.

''It's was a joke.''

''Oh.''

A pregnant silence befell them.

''When did you find out?''

''You mean that while you're in love with me, you are only romantically interested in me, because you are gay?''

''...Yes. You would have been a really hot dude, you know? Green eyes, red hair and fierce. Totally my type. I would have mounted you.''

''You wouldn't.''

He furrowed his eyebrows:''Why?''

''Because you would most likely have been _under_ me.''

''... Wow. Er... I mean...''

''You finally got another hard one after all these years of holding hands.''

Coughing lightly into his hand he asked:'' When did you find out?''

''In our forth year.''

''What!'', he shrieked like a little girl. ''How!?''

Lily tilted her head to a side:''Remember? I walked into the Gryffindor Common Room while you were making out with Sirius in the middle of the night.''

''I thought you had forgotten it, after Peter hit you onto the back of your head with this fat tome''

Her eyes widened and she growled:'' That was Peter?!''

James felt suddenly very bad for Peter and swore to buy him... something the next time he saw him. His wife growled and muttered something under her breath, he was sure he wouldn't want to hear. After she had calmed down, she asked in a sickly sweet voice:'' Did he join in sometimes, too?''

Was it normal for wives to be so inquisitive about their gay grooms former sex life? ''No. No, he didn't... ma'am.''

''Why?''

''We didn't really want him to...''

She looked a little bit disappointed and inquired:''Were you romantically interested in Sirius?''

''No, I wasn't.'' This felt more and more like an interrogation per second.

Lily looked strangely happy and unhappy about this at the same time. ''Sirius is romantically interested in you, you know?''

He evaded her gaze and said in a little voice:''I know... I don't even think he is gay.''

''He's healing.''

''I wouldn't have done this stuff with him, had I known that he was straight and only interested in me...''

''You're such a dunce.'' She sighed. ''Really, unbelievable...''

''It seems so...'' He smiled at her and saw that her lips were curved slightly, too.

''James?''

''Hm?''

''Do you think you would be able to get it up if I used the dildo on you?''

UOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUOUO

**Disclaimer: **I neither own the rights to the Harry Potter franchise, nor do I gain any money by writing this; this is merely a work of fanfiction. Any similarity to real people is merely coincidence.**  
**

**Author Notes: **Should this replacement have awakened any false hopes, I'm sorry. I forgot to add the disclaimer last time.

This is the first fanfic I've ever posted, so I would appreciate feedback, I don't discriminate between love messages or flames, the fact that someone spared enough time to write something for me would make me happy enough.


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